My New Book!

My New Book!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Tao of D Rock

It's been a little while since my last post so I wanted to fill you in on the latest.  I was feeling a little down lately as sales have waned off and the reality hit me that the book isn't going to sell itself.  So, here are the steps I'm taking to put my book (and my psyche) back online:

1. I just sent out ten physical copies of the book to different comedians, talk show moguls and respected humor authors.  Each book had a short note that above all (lied) I hope they can just sit back and laugh while they enjoy the book.  And if (please baby Jesus) they would like, I'd love to be a part of any program, talk show, etc. that they have to discuss the book.

2. I just wrote my first draft of my press release for the book. You would think this might be easy but it's more challenging then it seems. There's no, "set format" for press releases and you have to try to be formal yet clever. 

Fortunately my awesome sister Kellee...
...is looking it over, chopping it apart and helping me piece it back together: I'll post it when it's done. 

3. When said press release is done, I will be sending it out to every Arizona newspaper I can think of. I will also be sending it out to local T.V. and news stations.  I will then be paying a company to email / fax it to over 2500 national newspapers / journalist in the hopes that someone picks up my story. This is a really crucial step.

4. I will be purchasing a list of about 500,000 teachers, principals, college professors and staff and launching a mass press release email. This is done through a company that sends out 100,000 a month for a set-price. The goal here is simple, push copies out the door and hopefully gain some positive reviews on Amazon.com.

5. I will be emailing about 25 Amazon book reviewers who have purchased and positively reviewed books that are similar to mine. I will offer them free copies of the book for an honest review and pray (please baby Jesus) that they give me some positive reviews. Positive reviews on Amazon are really what help drive my traffic.

6. If necessary, I will sell my sister Kim's body for extra marketing money although I'm not sure if $100 is enough to do much.  Okay, okay, $50 then. $25???

Saturday, March 4, 2017

MOVIE REVIEW: A Cure for Wellness

The only thing this movie cured was my insomnia.  What a big disappointment from an otherwise cool premise.  

I don't know the main actor's name but he looks and acts a little like a young Leo Dicaprio. In fact, this movie had Shutter Island written all over it with one exception: Shutter Island was actually really good.

The premise is that this hotshot young consultant is sent deep into the Swiss Alps to a Spa Resort where he must find the CEO of a major company and bring him back to the states. Sounds simple enough except that our young Leo starts to notice that people are a little off their rocker at this place.  He eventually takes the red pill into the rabbit hole and starts trying to solve the puzzle of what's really going on while simultaneously searching for the elusive CEO. 

The creepiness is there but it's not in your face which is a good thing for some.  I for one, wanted to see the strange and bizarre twist. And showing me old nude people is not what I had in mind although that was bizarre.

The ending leaves you feeling deflated and glad that it's over so you can go home and drink the real cure for wellness: scotch. 

GEORGE V2 - Chapters 8 and 9 Redux.


George Version 2 will be out shortly on Amazon.com. I've changed Chapter 8 and significantly changed Chapter 9. Click the links below to read the new changes.


Click on Me to Read the NEW Chapter 8.


Click on Me to Read the NEW Chapter 9.

My first negative Amazon Review. Ouch!

 Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before the negative reviews came in. Here is a post of one:

on March 2, 2017
Format: Kindle Edition

My first Book Signing!!

This was a lot more fun than I thought it was going to be. I loved actually getting out of my seat to talk to the people and pitch them on my book. I sold 15 books (not including family members) so all in all I was very happy with it. Thank you to all who came.





Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Fences Movie Review and Book Signing Reminder

First thing First.  Please don't forget to come to my first book signing on Saturday, February 25th, 1p-3p at Bookman's in Mesa. 

Click For Directions:  Map to Location

My Review of the movie: Fences


Trailer:
Review:
Some Fences are built to keep people out, others to keep people in. As far as pure enjoyment, I give this a 4 out of 5. It's not the easiest movie to watch. Here is someone that you love to hate. Denzel plays a black man living in an urban town in 1950's America. His faithful wife of 18 years stands by his side as he struggles with the man he has and has not become. A self-proclaimed loser, he does his best to see that his family is put first.  Problem is, he constantly reminds them of the sacrifice he is making on their behalf and how grateful they should be.

His second son is trying to break free of his father's constant iron rule but finds it difficult to separate from a tradition that puts fear first. 

You can tell that this movie was adapted from a play. I think there is a total of six characters in the movie with Denzel playing front and center throughout almost every scene.  The dialogue is so rich and heavy that it's sometimes hard to keep up with the back and forth banter. Viola Davis plays his wife who has dreams of her own but gives them up to play the dutiful wife.

The acting is top notch. Denzel does what Denzel does so well. Creates confusion and chaos by keeping calm when one should explode and exploding when one should keep calm. You keep waiting for him to smack someone around but he'd rather use his words to belittle them instead.

For pure acting, it's a 5 out of 5. Both Denzel and Viola deserve the Oscar. I have no doubts Viola will win but Denzel is up against Casey Affleck and it's a dead heat.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Photos from Tempe Changing Hands and Funny Video

Headed to Changing Hands in Tempe to drop off a copy of my book and to see where they had me. Snapped a couple of pics and shot a funny video. Enjoy.



So Angelic


So Strong


and...such a great salesman.



Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Movie Review's for SpLiT, Founder, and Sleepless. Also some pictures from latest Bookstore.

Here are some pictures and a short video of my book at the Phoenix location of Changing Hands. Go down further for Movie Reviews.















It looks like I've been busier watching movies than paying attention to my book but for good reason. I'm waiting for the second edition of my book to come out to really make a push. And so, why I wait and Oscar season is here, I might as well see some movies. Saw three last week. Woo Hoo. Here is the first and the worst.

SLEEPLESS: 1 out of five stars:  The tagline is, "Don't judge a Cop by his Cover". Which of course is a play on words since the main character may or may not be undercover. I have no clue why he's wearing a glove in the left hand. What the hell happened to Jamie Foxx. The curse of the Oscars. This guy does two of my favorite movies, gets an Oscar in one, and then basically disappears except in some sidekick roles. And he chooses THIS as his comeback?  Premise: It's really tough to describe, hmm.  It's about a bad cop that is being chased by the good cops and the mob because he's taken some drugs and wont give them back. That's about it. There's one funny scene in the whole movie and the rest is drawn out, lame action sequences that border on the realism of the XXX movie. Here is a full gun fight in downtown Las Vegas and of course, no cops ever show. Right, because that would happen. The ending is lame, the beginning is lame, the plot blows. Stay away from this one or you might end up sleeping.




Add caption
A much better film: Founder: 4 1/2 stars I love McDonald's (fries), and I love Michael Keaton so this was a win/win for me. The top description on the poster should say. Risk Taker, Ball Breaker, Franchise Wrecker.  Michael Keaton does NOT play the man who found McDonalds but he does play the man who took it from obscurity and made it what it is today. Keaton is brilliant here as a snake oil salesman who listens to motivational records to get pumped up. He is going from one idea to the next, living in a dead end marriage and hating the fact that he hasn't hit it big yet. But as the record says, "Persistence Pays the Biggest". Keaton stumbles across two brothers who came up with the Henry Ford inspired quick burger line. By carefully crafting the workstations, they are able to get out piping hot burgers, fries and a coke in 30 seconds. No drive ups yet, just quick service. Keaton see's this and finally convinces them to give him a shot in taking their idea national. What follows is a great bit of acting on all parties as they go through the ups and downs of owning a business. Highly Recommend. Great bits of Comedy here.

Lastly was: SPLIT: 4 stars. I'd like to say I was split on the film but that seems so cliche. The film is based on a nut job named 'Kevin' who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder. Which I believe most women can attest to at some point in their lives.  Kidding. Or am I? Anyway, Kevin kidnaps some teenage girls in an attempt to let them know that soon they will get to meet "The Beast". Whether the Beast is a figment of one of his 23 personalities or a real creature is not revealed till the end but the acting from Kevin is top notched. The girls do pretty good but nothing great. I'm not sure how you pretend to act abducted. My intuition tells me you'd freak the f*ck out but the main character seems almost serene about it. The other two throw out some fake screams and anger and the bad acting comes out. Fortunately, the main character does a phenomenal job here as he goes in and out of the different characters while trying to maintain some sense of control. It is a disturbing movie but I appreciated the creativity and the acting from the main character. I have a new Boogie Man.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Moonlight and Lion Movie Review

Let's look at the first movie I saw, Moonlight.
If you look closely at the above poster, you'll see that it's actually three different faces.  That's because Moonlight is the story of one man's experience during three stages of his life. I won't spoil for you why it's called Moonlight but let's just say it's something of extreme importance to his development & downfall.

I loved this movie.  Easily the best picture I have seen as far as acting goes.  All three of the characters that play this man deserve some recognition, especially the teenager. It's a movie of few words because the emotional depth displayed here is what makes it so hauntingly beautiful.  

The movie is essentially about a young man that is raised in the projects with a crack head mom and a deep secret that threatens to destroy him and his relationships with others. Now of course the closest thing to a 'Hood' I've been to was the I-10 through LA but I'll be damn if it doesn't fit into every single stereotype I've ever had. The language and setting is so real that you can't help but get involved in what's going on. As the youth struggles with his identity, he's forced to sink or swim in his surroundings. He starts off sinking, then just sort of floating, then swimming.

Go see this movie. One of the best I've seen in a very long time. Again, the acting blew away anything I saw in 2016 and it really should be a major contender for Best Picture. I hope this dark horse comes wins.

And then there's LION
The Poster is actually a little misleading. It makes you think that it's a love story between this man and woman but they've got the wrong woman on the cover. The trailer really gives away most of the plot twist suffice to say the beginning. 

The movie is about a boy who is separated from his brother one day and ends up 1000 miles away from home. He then ends up being adopted by an Australian couple played by Nicole Kidman in one of the worst hair styles I have ever seen on another human. As distracting as the woodpecker hair is, the story has a nice build to it.  What the trailer doesn't share with you is how long the little boy goes without a family and what he has to endure.  The actor who played the little "Lion" actually does a better job than the older character played by Dev Patel.  

The friend who I saw it with was wondering how such a little boy is able to display such a range of emotion at a young age. Maybe poverty is so rampant in India that it wasn't a hard stretch for him but he did do amazing. He easily stole the film.

Dev plays the older version of the boy who is a broken soul. Forever tormented by the fantasy and guilt that came with losing his family and the hope that he will one day find them again.

The movie actually moved me to tears. Much more than 'Moonlight' even though Moonlight was a much sadder story.  A large part of this was due to the sweeping soundtrack and beautiful location.  You sort of get lost with him and you're certainly rooting for his victory. 

In Moonlight there's nothing to root for except you feel so sorry for the tortured soul that you are sort of sitting there with your mouth agape.

Both films were great although as far as a film that should win award accolades, it's not even a contest; Moonlight wins by leaps and bounds.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

My first Bookstore!

Thank you to the manager Beth at Bookman's on 19th and Northern for taking a chance on a (temporarily) unknown local author.  I know it's my first of many.




Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Monday Double Movie Reviews

I saw two movies this week:  XXX - The Return of Zander Cage and the movie Jackie.  These two movies couldn't be more opposite.  They go together like Hitler and world peace.

I stupidly just typed in XXX Movie into Google to get a screen shot of the poster and I was greeted by a whole smorgasbord of boobs and interesting titles.  I think my favorite one was "Hard Wars". May the farce be with you.

Okay, back to XXX. Here's the correct poster:
   To be honest I kind of wish I would have sunk my money into an adult film because at least then I could have walked out to a happy ending (bad joke). Vin Diesel returns as agent XXX.  The government tries to recruit him to be re-activated and help them track down a lost "gadget" that can somehow override all of the satellites and make them do evil things like crash or take close of pics of Trump and Clinton sunbathing. 
     Of course he accepts the challenge and decides to bring along his own specialized crew for the gig.  This is after turning down the fifteen highly trained and motivated navy seals because they haven't rode a giant wave while on a hovercraft.  Hey, his words not mine. For this mission, in which any other mortal man would die, he needs his homeys.  Who does he pick?  Two people. Just two. A skinny, sniper chick who gets introduced to us as she's watching a lion devour some tourist.  Mmmm, lunch.  And then for my favorite one of all, he picks a DJ. That's right, a disc jockey.  Which makes perfect sense when you're going up against a highly trained group of assassins.  Who wouldn't want some sick beats as they try and put the smack down and some baddies.  
     The film meanders on from the improvable to the impossible.  Hey, I love to be entertained by awesome stunts and computer graphics but a motorcycle, on the ocean, while riding the tube of a wave lost me at hello.  It was too unbelievable.  Give me something to grasp besides Vin Diesels double chin. No really look:
In the end I was wanting more.  The movie not the chin.  Skip this dud and just look up XXX Movies instead and laugh at the funny titles.  "Robin Wood".  Kills me.

Jackie Review:


     By stark contrast we have Jackie, played by Natalie Portman and a supporting cast of mainly unknowns.  I really didn't know what to expect in this movie.  I don't know much about Jackie Kennedy and that time era is not the most interesting to me.  Makes perfect sense then that I'd see a movie about her (sarcasm).  
     The movie is essentially based on an interview she gave after she left (kicked out) the White House when her husband, the President John F Kennedy, is assassinated.  An attempt which is shown in lovely detail as his skull gets blown away and she folds over the flap of his skin still holding what's left of his brains in.  Grossed out?  Yep, it was pretty disgusting.
     The movie also interweaves actual footage of Jackie doing various things where they expertly cut out the real Jackie and put Natalie Portman in.  It's actually pretty cool how they do it and "Jackie" seems to fit in seamlessly.  They even use the real voice of Jackie Kennedy for most of the historical footage which Natalie Portman lip syncs too.  Much better I must say than Maria Carey and her New Years Eve debacle.  Her accent is very odd.  It sounds like a girl who had way too many drinks and is trying to hard to be serious.
     Unfortunately the whole thing was about as fun as watching paint dry.  The movie moved painfully slow with 90% of the scenes being of Jackie crying or hysterically screaming.  Hey, I get it.  She's in mourning and suffering but I don't really want to watch it for 2+ hours.  The worst part was the music.  Three notes in the whole film.  Sad, Sadder and Saddest.  At the end of the movie I ran out of there to seek daylight and to cleanse myself from the giant Colonic that I just experienced.  
     It wasn't to say that I didn't appreciate what was happening at the time, I just didn't find it entertaining in the least.  Not from a historical or any other perspective.  I do not recommend it, not even as a rental.

My First Book Signing

I will be at my first book signing along with some other local authors on Saturday, February 25th from 1p-3p at Bookman's in Mesa: Click here to read about the event!

Here is a snapshot of their description:  Calling all literary cupids! We understand the late night inability to put that novel down, the struggle to find eyeglasses on a nightstand piled high with non-fiction gems and the classic dilemma of reading entire bookshelves and still jonesin’ for more. We wouldn’t love our books if their authors hadn’t had the chance to write them, so stop in today and discover a new author. The best part is you are  supporting local talent in the process.

Come by and get your book signed or just say hello.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

What do I have in common with a Salmon?



At first glance, I admit, the similarities might not jump off the page at you.  My bloodline is comprised of French, German and Irish blood so you could say that the pinky flesh of a salmon resembles what I look like when I try to get a tan:
p.s. - I'm much more muscular than this.

My skin isn't scaly although I tend to peel in the summer time.  I don't want to have 1000 children like the salmon, 2 is just fine with me.  I don't have sharp teeth nor do I like munching on seaweed or little urchins.  

I do however have the will and tenacity of a salmon as right now I am calling, emailing and visiting all the local bookstores I can to try and get my book "out there".  And you know what? The results are paying off.

I've managed to 'cook-up' some deals already (c'mon, that's funny).  I've secured a deal to get my book on the shelves at the Phoenix Bookman's store. I'm also working at getting it at the Phoenix and Tempe locations of Changing Hands as well as a great local bookstore in downtown Phoenix called, Lawn Gnome Books.


More details to come as I take a bite out the industry.  Come Get some!




I just think his expression is funny.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

HOLLYWOOD GOES TO CANADA

I was eating lunch in a break room and caught Whoopi and her cohorts from THE VIEW commenting that nobody famous was attending the Trump Inauguration.  Personally, I tend to stay out of politics as people are usually so deeply divided they can't see the trees in the forest.  However, with that said, I did take note of Whoopi continually bashing him, which is certainly her right.  Then I remembered a promise she gave to the American people, as did many other in the entertainment industry.  They vowed to move to Canada if Trump became President.  So, it made me wonder if her ticket was booked along with the other celebrities who made the same promise.

Perhaps we should stop using the word celebrities to describe people in the entertainment business as I usually don't celebrate them and I certainly don't really care what there opinion is of the state of affairs of our country.

You are here to entertain me, to amuse me.  So, entertain me.  Dance for me, Dance.

Movie Monday Review of "Patriot's Day"

So every Monday (or Tuesday) I usually see a movie because, well, honestly I'm a movie buff and I love them.  If I were single I'd probably spend a lot of my free time at the theater and the other half writing.  With a small amount dedicated to eating, sleeping and the gym because hey, who wants to be single forever.  Come to think of it my first date with my wife was at a movie.  How romantic of me. 

Anyways, I used to write funny movie reviews for the resort I worked at (until I got "let go").  So why not continue the tradition. Yesterday I saw, "Patriot's Day" starring Boston's own, Mark Wahlberg.  (I have no clue if he's from Boston but his accent is spot on).


REVIEW

Being a history buff, you'd think I'd know what Patriot's Day is but honestly I thought it was where the members of the New England Patriot's football team walked down main street in a parade.  Nope, it's a holiday for Massachusetts and Wisconsin regarding the Revolutionary War and the Battle of Lexington and Concord.  I'm not sure how the Boston Marathon translates with that day but I'm sure plenty of American's were running on those actual days. Running towards the enemy of course.

The physical contrast between Wahlberg and the actual guy he plays is a pretty far apart but that being said, it's hard for him not to step into this role.  Playing a cop in Boston must be like slipping on a second skin for him because it's believable from the minute he burst on the screen.  I like how the film has "real" laughs.  The moments of humor are not forced or planted.  They are simply just the reality of people who are busting each other's balls or trying to deal with an insane situation.  You do find yourself laughing at the idiotic nature of the second bomber.  Like when he ask some guy if his car has bluetooth right after he just murdered someone.  Was he really that obtuse to what he just did?  Not sure but it's creepy and comical at the same time.  Like when you see your dad in his tidy whities.  

The premise is simple.  Two bombs explode.  Carnage ensues. Manhunt begins.  The chase is on.  Awesome gun battle. Good guys win?  I put the question mark at the end just in case you really don't know in which case quit reading this or any other review and go see the movie.

Did I enjoy it?  Yes, I absolutely did.  One of the best scenes in the whole movie is when the wife of one of the suspects is being interrogated.  The woman who plays the FBI interrogator should get an Oscar nod for the five minutes she's on screen because she's that chilling and good.  If Judi Dench can get one for Shakespear's In Love than this gal can get one here.  

Let's end with the elephant in the room.  Did it make me feel any hatred towards Muslims?  Yes.  Don't judge me yet.  It's the same way 12 Years A Slave made me feel towards racist or the Lord of the Rings made me feel against Orks.  You can't help but feel a certain sense of vigilante when your done watching the film because it does tug on your heart string.  In the end, common sense, did and should take over and you go back to the old saying that you can't judge a book by it's cover.  Unfortunately, these covers keep having the same plot.  I hope a new story is written about them one day in the near future.

Monday, January 16, 2017

My book is finally released!

Two Years and $$$ later my third book (first self-published) was finally released on Amazon.com on January 11, 2017.  I priced the paperback at only $14.95 because I wanted to move volumes and get the word out there.  

A couple of days later the E-Book became available for only $9.95.  Here's the crazy thing.  If you buy the E-Book the paperback only cost $2.99.  Again, moving volume.  




Please make sure you leave me a 'Star' Rating and a Review when you are done reading it.

I am now starting the fun 😊 process of marketing and promotion.  I am a natural salesman but marketing is a little out of my league so the process is taking longer than I suspected.

My upcoming to do list:  Email Blast Teachers; Get into Local Bookstores; Press Releases; Radio Shows; Oprah; you get the picture.  

I also will be using this blog to talk about my upcoming books (including excerpts from George and the others) as well as movie reviews, book reviews and my general take on life as it unfolds itself.  Enjoy the hilarity of my insanity!