My New Book!

My New Book!

Thursday, January 26, 2017

My first Bookstore!

Thank you to the manager Beth at Bookman's on 19th and Northern for taking a chance on a (temporarily) unknown local author.  I know it's my first of many.




Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Monday Double Movie Reviews

I saw two movies this week:  XXX - The Return of Zander Cage and the movie Jackie.  These two movies couldn't be more opposite.  They go together like Hitler and world peace.

I stupidly just typed in XXX Movie into Google to get a screen shot of the poster and I was greeted by a whole smorgasbord of boobs and interesting titles.  I think my favorite one was "Hard Wars". May the farce be with you.

Okay, back to XXX. Here's the correct poster:
   To be honest I kind of wish I would have sunk my money into an adult film because at least then I could have walked out to a happy ending (bad joke). Vin Diesel returns as agent XXX.  The government tries to recruit him to be re-activated and help them track down a lost "gadget" that can somehow override all of the satellites and make them do evil things like crash or take close of pics of Trump and Clinton sunbathing. 
     Of course he accepts the challenge and decides to bring along his own specialized crew for the gig.  This is after turning down the fifteen highly trained and motivated navy seals because they haven't rode a giant wave while on a hovercraft.  Hey, his words not mine. For this mission, in which any other mortal man would die, he needs his homeys.  Who does he pick?  Two people. Just two. A skinny, sniper chick who gets introduced to us as she's watching a lion devour some tourist.  Mmmm, lunch.  And then for my favorite one of all, he picks a DJ. That's right, a disc jockey.  Which makes perfect sense when you're going up against a highly trained group of assassins.  Who wouldn't want some sick beats as they try and put the smack down and some baddies.  
     The film meanders on from the improvable to the impossible.  Hey, I love to be entertained by awesome stunts and computer graphics but a motorcycle, on the ocean, while riding the tube of a wave lost me at hello.  It was too unbelievable.  Give me something to grasp besides Vin Diesels double chin. No really look:
In the end I was wanting more.  The movie not the chin.  Skip this dud and just look up XXX Movies instead and laugh at the funny titles.  "Robin Wood".  Kills me.

Jackie Review:


     By stark contrast we have Jackie, played by Natalie Portman and a supporting cast of mainly unknowns.  I really didn't know what to expect in this movie.  I don't know much about Jackie Kennedy and that time era is not the most interesting to me.  Makes perfect sense then that I'd see a movie about her (sarcasm).  
     The movie is essentially based on an interview she gave after she left (kicked out) the White House when her husband, the President John F Kennedy, is assassinated.  An attempt which is shown in lovely detail as his skull gets blown away and she folds over the flap of his skin still holding what's left of his brains in.  Grossed out?  Yep, it was pretty disgusting.
     The movie also interweaves actual footage of Jackie doing various things where they expertly cut out the real Jackie and put Natalie Portman in.  It's actually pretty cool how they do it and "Jackie" seems to fit in seamlessly.  They even use the real voice of Jackie Kennedy for most of the historical footage which Natalie Portman lip syncs too.  Much better I must say than Maria Carey and her New Years Eve debacle.  Her accent is very odd.  It sounds like a girl who had way too many drinks and is trying to hard to be serious.
     Unfortunately the whole thing was about as fun as watching paint dry.  The movie moved painfully slow with 90% of the scenes being of Jackie crying or hysterically screaming.  Hey, I get it.  She's in mourning and suffering but I don't really want to watch it for 2+ hours.  The worst part was the music.  Three notes in the whole film.  Sad, Sadder and Saddest.  At the end of the movie I ran out of there to seek daylight and to cleanse myself from the giant Colonic that I just experienced.  
     It wasn't to say that I didn't appreciate what was happening at the time, I just didn't find it entertaining in the least.  Not from a historical or any other perspective.  I do not recommend it, not even as a rental.

My First Book Signing

I will be at my first book signing along with some other local authors on Saturday, February 25th from 1p-3p at Bookman's in Mesa: Click here to read about the event!

Here is a snapshot of their description:  Calling all literary cupids! We understand the late night inability to put that novel down, the struggle to find eyeglasses on a nightstand piled high with non-fiction gems and the classic dilemma of reading entire bookshelves and still jonesin’ for more. We wouldn’t love our books if their authors hadn’t had the chance to write them, so stop in today and discover a new author. The best part is you are  supporting local talent in the process.

Come by and get your book signed or just say hello.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

What do I have in common with a Salmon?



At first glance, I admit, the similarities might not jump off the page at you.  My bloodline is comprised of French, German and Irish blood so you could say that the pinky flesh of a salmon resembles what I look like when I try to get a tan:
p.s. - I'm much more muscular than this.

My skin isn't scaly although I tend to peel in the summer time.  I don't want to have 1000 children like the salmon, 2 is just fine with me.  I don't have sharp teeth nor do I like munching on seaweed or little urchins.  

I do however have the will and tenacity of a salmon as right now I am calling, emailing and visiting all the local bookstores I can to try and get my book "out there".  And you know what? The results are paying off.

I've managed to 'cook-up' some deals already (c'mon, that's funny).  I've secured a deal to get my book on the shelves at the Phoenix Bookman's store. I'm also working at getting it at the Phoenix and Tempe locations of Changing Hands as well as a great local bookstore in downtown Phoenix called, Lawn Gnome Books.


More details to come as I take a bite out the industry.  Come Get some!




I just think his expression is funny.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

HOLLYWOOD GOES TO CANADA

I was eating lunch in a break room and caught Whoopi and her cohorts from THE VIEW commenting that nobody famous was attending the Trump Inauguration.  Personally, I tend to stay out of politics as people are usually so deeply divided they can't see the trees in the forest.  However, with that said, I did take note of Whoopi continually bashing him, which is certainly her right.  Then I remembered a promise she gave to the American people, as did many other in the entertainment industry.  They vowed to move to Canada if Trump became President.  So, it made me wonder if her ticket was booked along with the other celebrities who made the same promise.

Perhaps we should stop using the word celebrities to describe people in the entertainment business as I usually don't celebrate them and I certainly don't really care what there opinion is of the state of affairs of our country.

You are here to entertain me, to amuse me.  So, entertain me.  Dance for me, Dance.

Movie Monday Review of "Patriot's Day"

So every Monday (or Tuesday) I usually see a movie because, well, honestly I'm a movie buff and I love them.  If I were single I'd probably spend a lot of my free time at the theater and the other half writing.  With a small amount dedicated to eating, sleeping and the gym because hey, who wants to be single forever.  Come to think of it my first date with my wife was at a movie.  How romantic of me. 

Anyways, I used to write funny movie reviews for the resort I worked at (until I got "let go").  So why not continue the tradition. Yesterday I saw, "Patriot's Day" starring Boston's own, Mark Wahlberg.  (I have no clue if he's from Boston but his accent is spot on).


REVIEW

Being a history buff, you'd think I'd know what Patriot's Day is but honestly I thought it was where the members of the New England Patriot's football team walked down main street in a parade.  Nope, it's a holiday for Massachusetts and Wisconsin regarding the Revolutionary War and the Battle of Lexington and Concord.  I'm not sure how the Boston Marathon translates with that day but I'm sure plenty of American's were running on those actual days. Running towards the enemy of course.

The physical contrast between Wahlberg and the actual guy he plays is a pretty far apart but that being said, it's hard for him not to step into this role.  Playing a cop in Boston must be like slipping on a second skin for him because it's believable from the minute he burst on the screen.  I like how the film has "real" laughs.  The moments of humor are not forced or planted.  They are simply just the reality of people who are busting each other's balls or trying to deal with an insane situation.  You do find yourself laughing at the idiotic nature of the second bomber.  Like when he ask some guy if his car has bluetooth right after he just murdered someone.  Was he really that obtuse to what he just did?  Not sure but it's creepy and comical at the same time.  Like when you see your dad in his tidy whities.  

The premise is simple.  Two bombs explode.  Carnage ensues. Manhunt begins.  The chase is on.  Awesome gun battle. Good guys win?  I put the question mark at the end just in case you really don't know in which case quit reading this or any other review and go see the movie.

Did I enjoy it?  Yes, I absolutely did.  One of the best scenes in the whole movie is when the wife of one of the suspects is being interrogated.  The woman who plays the FBI interrogator should get an Oscar nod for the five minutes she's on screen because she's that chilling and good.  If Judi Dench can get one for Shakespear's In Love than this gal can get one here.  

Let's end with the elephant in the room.  Did it make me feel any hatred towards Muslims?  Yes.  Don't judge me yet.  It's the same way 12 Years A Slave made me feel towards racist or the Lord of the Rings made me feel against Orks.  You can't help but feel a certain sense of vigilante when your done watching the film because it does tug on your heart string.  In the end, common sense, did and should take over and you go back to the old saying that you can't judge a book by it's cover.  Unfortunately, these covers keep having the same plot.  I hope a new story is written about them one day in the near future.

Monday, January 16, 2017

My book is finally released!

Two Years and $$$ later my third book (first self-published) was finally released on Amazon.com on January 11, 2017.  I priced the paperback at only $14.95 because I wanted to move volumes and get the word out there.  

A couple of days later the E-Book became available for only $9.95.  Here's the crazy thing.  If you buy the E-Book the paperback only cost $2.99.  Again, moving volume.  




Please make sure you leave me a 'Star' Rating and a Review when you are done reading it.

I am now starting the fun 😊 process of marketing and promotion.  I am a natural salesman but marketing is a little out of my league so the process is taking longer than I suspected.

My upcoming to do list:  Email Blast Teachers; Get into Local Bookstores; Press Releases; Radio Shows; Oprah; you get the picture.  

I also will be using this blog to talk about my upcoming books (including excerpts from George and the others) as well as movie reviews, book reviews and my general take on life as it unfolds itself.  Enjoy the hilarity of my insanity!